Last week, I was looking for a particular picture of my aunt to use in my weekly post. I remember seeing it in this house we have only inhabited for three years.
I sorted through two chests where I keep photo albums and memorabilia from the last 60 years. I used to own three chests, so I feel pretty good about “downsizing.” I can visualize everything that was once there, such as my son’s and my baby’s books, baby clothes, newspapers on his birthdate, published stories, and family photos.
After searching more than once, I didn’t find the missing picture.
It occurred to me that neither of our baby books or clothes were there either. What happened to the things that were once in the chest I gave away? I looked in my closets. Nothing. I would have had to have been out of my mind to leave anything sentimental in the garage here in Florida.
I checked a cabinet where I keep other old pictures. I checked the closet again.
Why do I do this to myself?
The first time I considered minimalism was while on a cruise. I was in a tiny cabin with just the necessities of life and a few extra pieces of clothing for variety.
I felt calmer. I knew where everything was. Everything had a place and was put away, or it would quickly become too cluttered for me to live with, even for a week.
It isn’t unusual when I expect visitors to hide something in a closet, drawer, or garage quickly out of sight and forgotten until I need it again.
A new guest recently commented on how organized and orderly my house was. The term imposter syndrome came to mind.
I’d like to think of myself as someone with only one of everything truly needed. I’m not.
If I am sure I own something, like a smaller camera bag or a steamer basket, but can’t locate it, I buy a new one. It’s not a good practice, but I’ve convinced myself that I would eventually share my extras with others. Yes, I’m fully aware that in all probability, no one would want them.
I’d also like my home to be so organized that I can tell anyone where to find anything, even something as obscure as an old photograph. Sadly, that is not the case.
I remember the saying about having more going out of your home than coming in. If you buy one thing, donate two other items.
The likelihood of leaving this house is strong, either by choice or not. I have one son, and I think of him and his family sorting through all my papers and piles of long-forgotten belongings all by themselves. I hear them saying,” Why on earth did she keep this?” or worse yet, save it all in boxes to go through when they are feeling less weary. Eventually, it will end up in their own garage, only to be abandoned again. I don’t want to do that to them.
I have been watching “Legacy List” on PBS, where Matt and his team find items in homes that may have been missing for years. Some folks are moving, downsizing, or just overwhelmed by having relatives’ stuff that ended up in their basement. It is interesting to see the unique treasures that are uncovered with such a rich history. Unfortunately, I don’t believe I have much that is historic, valuable, or meaningful to many others outside of my immediate family.
That is enough encouragement to start organizing drawer by drawer with a trash bag in hand.
Why did I keep this? Usually, it wasn’t intentional; I just didn’t take the time to make a decision.
Back to the lost photo, I was able to locate the picture on my phone, but part of my Aunt’s head was out of the frame, so I didn’t want to use it anyway.
Now, I am on a mission to find those baby books. I spent time going through another area yesterday to no avail, but Goodwill will receive more items.
I will continue decluttering now that I am hunting for treasure. If the goal were only to be orderly, it wouldn’t last.
Perhaps it was meant for me to lose something special to motivate me to organize spaces that would otherwise remain status quo.
I truly wish I were more of a minimalist person, but a more realistic goal would be essentialist. The truth is, anything I can dream up (apple peeler, produce saver, travel organizers), I can have at my door with just a few clicks. My husband would say I possess an active imagination with no sales resistance.
I need to be more mindful about what I bring into this house. I’m better at not being pulled in, but I’m not there yet.
I am also not good at letting go of paperwork. I have a four-drawer file cabinet where papers go to die. I spend time sorting, labeling, and filing unnecessary documents away; it seems a shame to just throw them out after all that effort.
Given that I will be sixty-six this year and have had these same habits for years, the likelihood of my habits changing is, well, unlikely.
But until I find those baby books, I’m a new woman! I’m on a mission to have order in the darkest corners. I secretly hope it takes me a little while to find them so I can continue with gusto.
All I know for sure is that no matter what my future holds, my goal is to know where everything is, at least the sentimental treasures. I want to be organized enough that I will not watch from above, aghast, as my son and his family confront the hidden clutter.
Onward to the guest room!
If my organizational struggles resonate with you, or if you have found systems to overcome continually having to declutter, I’d love to read your comment below.
I’ll keep you posted about the baby books.
As always, thank you for reading!
Keep smiling!
xx
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