I remember in 1998 when my Grandmother Grace passed away, and my family had an Estate sale because the house was being sold. Gram was very organized and didn’t own many things that weren’t needed or didn’t have a purpose. She ran an alterations business out of her home and had four or five sewing machines and lots of thread, buttons, notions etc. Other than that, and a fondness for shoes, fashion, and an elephant collection, she didn’t have much extra. Everything was in its place, and there was a place for everything.
Still, even with all of her organization and planning (she had pancreatic cancer and knew that her days were limited), there was a lot to do to empty out the house to sell. She had given away some things like jewelry, clothes, bibles, and special trinkets to others before she died. I remember having a fashion show for her, trying different clothing and shoes. She was pleased that I liked some of her things, even with me being 45 years younger, and that they would live on. At any rate, even with all that preparation, there was much to do.
On the day of the sale, we placed some items outside to cause attention to those driving by, and I remember how sad everything looked in the sunlight. So much different than in its proper place in what was once a welcoming home.
She once said that when you reach a certain age, people no longer know what to give you for gifts. She didn’t want much except time with family, occasional restaurant meals, happy customers, and pleasant company. Still, she did end up with many figurines depicting women sewing and other “dust magnets” that people gave her as appreciation. Those didn’t look out of place outside on the folding tables. They basically belonged to someone else. Someone else who would appreciate them more.
The point I want to make with this story is that no matter how prepared you are now, when the time comes and you are no longer on this earth, there will still be a lot of things for your loved ones to do, made even more difficult with the emotion of you not being around to help them sort it all out.
Make it as easy on them as possible.
One thing that my Gram did was hide money in different places, not a lot, but $20 here or there, so sorting what to donate and what to sell was a little less of a drudgery.
Ok, so maybe you are more like me versus my Gram?
If someone were to drop by unexpectedly, would your house be passably neat? But if you start digging around in the closets, drawers, and heaven forbid, the garage, whoa, doggies… it is an overwhelming hot mess! So much so that you just want to shut the door again tightly. Out of sight, out of mind. But that is the place where we need to start. Where the clutter and the chaos are the most noticeable and where it will make the most impact.
Now don’t you think I have this all down and done. Uh no. I’m going through it with you. Literally. Going through all the papers, the empty boxes, the clothes crammed in the closet, and all those gadgets that I might need someday.
It seems overwhelming sometimes.
Take a deep breath and do one thing for five minutes. Every day. Yes, every day, without exception. Set a timer if you have to. You may find yourself doing more on certain days if you get on a roll, and that’s ok; just do at least the minimum. I’m right there with you.
I work in my garage in the mornings or at night since I live in Florida, and that is when it is, hopefully, a little cooler. I don’t know what I thought when I saved these empty boxes. I guess that I might need them someday. That is a common theme in my subconscious. I might need them to take more unnecessary things to Goodwill or to store them to sell at a garage sale. Clearly, I have no idea just how many boxes I am saving. So, the last few days, that has been my mission, me and my box cutter, breaking down the boxes and recycling. Amazing what I find under all that cardboard!
Inside, I gave myself a break and started in the back guest room, which is seldom used except for the few occasions that the cat sneaks in there or my granddaughters are here later at night & want to watch a movie on the bed. Still, I found two boxes sealed from when we moved here two years ago. I also found a yard sign letting the people passing by know it was someone’s birthday in our home. Several birthdays have gone by without notice from the neighbors.
And that was the easiest room in the house.
It’s exciting to see what you can find. Unfortunately, though, for now, I’m putting the unwanted items back in the garage, but at least there is something to put in those boxes. I’ll get to it. Really, I will.
My biggest fear is going through my clothes closet. I have clothes that fit me at three or four different body weights, several decades, and two or three different sizes. I get attached to clothing. Well, let’s face it. I get attached to a lot of stuff.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
I am someone who hides things away, especially papers. My house looks relatively neat, but please don’t ask me to find something on short notice. Paper clutter is a big problem for me. It seems once I put something in the file cabinet (if it makes it that far), it is like a black hole I never seek out again. Most paper clutter, though, ends up in baskets, drawers, and other “special” hiding places until I look for something.
I think about someone else going through this disorder and the faint possibility of my finding something of interest that was otherwise long forgotten. That urges me on.
For me, the secret is to do a drawer, a closet, or even a section at a time and then do something else fun. Something you actually want to do. Doing too much decluttering in one day makes it easy to get burned out, at least for me.
I’m embarrassed to say that I have cleaned out my clothes several times over the years, and the only way I’ve found for it to be effective is to take everything out, yes everything, and only put back what you will wear or can’t bear to part with. In my case, that is an all-day event. Otherwise, I can’t plainly see I have five black shirts, 20 T-shirts, and suits I never wear.
Maybe you aren’t a clutter hider like me. Maybe it is plain to see what items you have that need to find a new location, either inside your home or out of it.
I understand. My granddaughters are 2 and 3 years old at the time of this writing. My house can be spick and span (if you don’t open any doors or drawers or look too closely), but after they are here for 15 minutes, puzzles, stuffed animals, blocks, books, a riding car, sippy cups, and popcorn cover the floor. Granted, I bought these items and gave them to them, so what do I expect, right? I do want them to enjoy themselves when they are at Grandma & Grandpa’s house. When they leave, though, I can put everything back where it belongs (or better yet, have them help me to clean up before they leave), and everything looks orderly again.
I know parents and guardians out there don’t have the luxury of cleaning up after a visit. The kids and all their toys, books, and spilled food are always there. Just do the best you can for five minutes. I highly suggest you teach the kids to clean up when it is time for bed. You can make it a game and set a timer to see how much they can do in the five minutes. Who can pick up more?
I am not pretending to be an expert on decluttering or neatness. My family would think that statement was quite funny!
Hundreds of books, videos, and courses are available on decluttering your home by truly knowledgeable people. Find someone that you can relate to and follow their ideas. Or get a family member or friend to help you decide whether to keep an item, donate, or sell it. Schedule an entire weekend to get it all done at once if that works better for you, but at the very least, do five minutes a day.
I’m just reminding you that it is important to do it.
You’ll be surprised how much better you feel, clearing away the clutter and actually knowing what you have in your home and that it all has a purpose there.
It has been proven that decluttering and organizing improve your attention span and focus, leaving a refreshed mental space. Your creativity will start flowing again when you look at your desk; it is clear and welcoming verses piled with papers, books, and pens.
Also, as I have alluded to throughout this book, none of us know how many days we have on this earth. Don’t leave the chore of going through everything, making all those decisions to keep, donate, sell, or even trash items up to your family. They already have busy lives.
Also, if you haven’t already, tell your family stories about what some of the special trinkets, art, books, jewelry, and even clothing mean to you. Mention where it came from, why you like it, and other related stories. If your family doesn’t live nearby, write it all down. Keep a journal. Make a video. This will also help you to appreciate what you have even more.
YOUR ACTION PLAN:
- Make a plan for what you want the end result of your house/each space to look like when you are done decluttering.
- Plan how much decluttering to do at each time-from, from 5 minutes to a weekend or more.
- Let’s start with the dreaded closet or whatever area would make the biggest impact.
- Get a decluttering buddy to keep you accountable, even if it is someone to report your accomplishments to, not necessarily have them help you with the tasks.
- Take before and after pictures.
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